Lonely~

I honestly can't be bothered to blog bout my days...n gt prob uploading fotos too -.-...I don see wat's the point of mi continuing to blog...No one cares anw...It's not like ppl come look at my unupdated blog n feel sad that i didn't update cos they care bout mi n wanna noe hw i'm doin...hardly any1 bothers to tag...i always go to my tagbox to c if some kind soul tagged to ask how i'm doin...But nope, no one bothers...ppl jus come, c that thr's no update n jus moves on without a 2nd thought...y isn't thr anw1 who actually come n ask mi once in awhile how i am n is genuinely interested in my life...but thr's no one...no one i can go to, to talk bout all my problems n difficulties...thr was tis fren of mine called juliet...i used to be able to talk to her bout my probs...but i can't now...i can't rely on someone who doesn't see me as of much importance...or someone who's one of my main problems...or someone who won even bother to come talk to me...at least...thr was someone. else..who i really cared about...i miss the times i spent with her......the times she when she took my foolscrap pad n scibbled stuff all over it...it hurts so so much just thinking bout it...knowing that i can't be with with her...but...i still miss holding her in my arms...i need someone who loves me...but i doubt i'll thr's any1...i feel so very lonely...with no one who cares...no one who i can just call in the middle of the night when i feel so depressed...in 22 hours it's be a new year...dun c how it can be btr then the previous 1...

I Wanna See Snow...I Wanna See You...

I feel too lazy to blog...Haix...I don noe y everytime i go online i will immidiately go look to c if ur online...If i dun c u if feel this small pang of disappointment...Even though i dun plan to talk to eu i'll still feel it...If i do c eu i'll feel a lil happier...just cos ur thr...dots...I dun noe y i feel liddat -.-...Weird huh? Zzz...Anws nid slo liao...Tmr gt work

Mi n My Big Mouth...

Thoughts

Haix...srys 4 making eu feel guilty...haven't u ever done that b4? U simply followed ur heart. U shouldn't feel guilty bout it. Zzz, now i feel guilty for making u guilty. -.-...

Does Any1 Out Thr Care Bout Mi?

Thoughts

I can't bothered to blog bout my previous days. who care bout wad i did anw? Lolz. Anw, i realised i'm a really cheerful enthusiastic n talkative person -.- . I noe y i'm emo. But why do i continue to do thing which i noe will only end in misery? I guess it's cause of hope, hope for something btr. But will i ever get it? I don't noe...Shld i remain the way i am and enjoy myself or shld i kepp trying? ZzZzZ. Anws, to a friend of mine. Do u really want to be my friend? I mean i find that everytime we talk is cause i go to u. Would u really bother bout mi if i didn't start the conv? I really enjoy talking to u...but....Haix...i don noe...I don even noe if ur gonna read this...U say we're frens, but ur uncomfortable goin out wif mi u can't be bothered or ur not interested in talking to mi...U didn't even gt me my b'dae present... Pls...Tell mi wad u think...tell mi wad i shld do....

Happened again. Hmm... i don feel so emo. I guess i'm used to it. Yay. Wait...tat's not a good thing...Haix... I shouldn't have expected anything more. Also cos i was so damned blurr..Argg..Y do u care anw? Y do u still want mi as a fren? After all, u said we weren't close...

Oh wow, so if u just say sorry everything will be okay? You even had to add "but please don't irritate me like that ever again". Wth. U think vry fun ah? 4get it. I'm obviously not needed in ur lyf. So i'm just gonna keep to myself 4evaa. You'll be happier like that right? bitch.

Since u dun wan me around u then fine. I won't ever again.

...i was so looking forward to tmr...literately counting the day till it...but nvm... thr no point if u dun want to...no point if u just force ur self to go b'cos of a promise...i guess i'll just emo tmr...dun bother bout mi....

If I Let You Go...

Todae

I went to church to help distribute flyers for my church's upcoming musical. Anybody wanna come? Jus contact mi. Then i helped out wif the props. Then came back.

Thoughts

...haix...You're right. Only God shld be important. But your life shouldn't be simply disregarded. I noe that we'll all eventually go to heaven, but when i'm thr, i wanna have brought alot of ppl along wif mi. We shld strive to spread the word of God. Even if no one accepts or believes you, it wouldn't be on your conscience tat you didn't give them the opportunity.Btw pls don close ur blog. I read it lyk every time i use the com. N thank u. For saying that i'm not unimportant.

You once said that we shouldn't wait. That we shld dedicate our time to something else. But...what if something we really want nid for us to wait? the best things go to those who wait. Cos if i were to just let you go, how will i ever noe what my lyf would be lyk holding you close to me? Will i ever c you smiling back at me. how will i noe? Gosh i just copied that straight from the song -.- ...So yar, i guess i'll keep waiting. I don't noe how i'll get thru it, but your worth the wait.

Well Juliet, the rain's falling down on the sidewalk. I won't go till you come outside.

Am I Of Any Importance To U?

Todae

I went wif timmy to celebrate his b'dae at cathay cineleisure. Had lunch at some jap restaurant. I'll put up the pics when i can. Then went to watch bolt. Sooo cute. Then it ended horribly cos the gurls went shopping -.- Started to emo after that.

Thoughts

Haix...I feel so pathetic. I noe i always tell u to cheer up but i just can't c a good side to this... I feel unimportant. Maybe it's cos i'm really pessimistic n lyk to assume the worst...I noe thr's a proper reason to y u don reply, fone no bat/no cash on fone...but i just can't help but feel that u just can't be bothered to reply...when i asked, "will thr be any chance in the future". Did u anws that cos u pitied me?...Will thr be something more or am i waiting for naught?...i feel so so unimportant to u...u hardly ever come talk to mi...most of the time i'm the one who start the conv...i guess i've just beeing lying to myself all along. lying that thr may be some small chance that u may someday feel the same way to mi...i guess not...i can't do anything for u...i can't make u feel happy or be thr for u when u nid some1...i doubt a relationship will ever happen...i just don't think that any1 let alone u will ever love mi...so don tag. don talk to mi. don apologise. just forget mi...i don't want to add to your troubles...just leave me aloe to my misery and tears...i guess my lyf's meant to be spent alone...devoid of any1 who truely loves me...It doesn't matter if u don't understand...nothing matters anymore...~sayonara

...i feel guilty...for not being able to do anything...haixx...i feel so pathetic...i want to be able to be there for you. to help u n to cheer you up....but i just don't noe how to...i'm useless...n pls don't tag saying your sorry...it's not ur fault..it's mine

I'm Broke T.T

Yay. Thr's internet over here in Kl. I'm gonna do a summary of my hols:

first 7 days in malacca
nxt 7 in cameron highlands
1 day in KL
Another 2 in Malacca
3 days in camp

yups. so tat e plan. I'm currently in KL FYI kay I’ll try to blog bout wat happened earlier in Malacca and Cameron.

1st day
left my home a 6 in e morning cos now my family drive a weekend car. For ppl who don’t noe the pokka dotted van has died after 9 hard years of riving my family around T.T. N for ppl who didn’t noe my family used to drive a pokka dotted van -.- . Anws, we drove to Malacca in bout 3 hours had lunch. Then, checked into the hotel.

2nd to 6th day
Lazed around, watched dvds. (Omg wall.e is SO cute -.-). Anws played risk with my family. My sis won cos me n my dad spent the whole game killing each other tat we barely had an army left. Then my sis killed us cos she hardly attacked in e beginning -.- . Played a lot of dota against AIs -.- man have no life. Then spent the remainder of my time daydreaming. Same topic, as always. Even in Malaysia I can’t get her out of my mind -.- dots.

7th day
Left early in e morning for Cameron highlands. Reached there at about 2.

8th day till 14th
Same as in Malacca. Slacked, watched tv n day dreamed. Yes, about the same thing. -.-. Went to several attractions of which i've been to so many times b4. Went to a tea plantation. Took a really lame photo =P. Will post when I’m in S’pore. Then, I received this msg. I was pleasantly surprised to c who it was from =D. Sadly can’t agree to e request cos I’m still here T.T . After e 14th kay? Zzz. Still I feel a lil pessimistic. T.T Ah well i tend to assume the worst in everything -.-

Todae

Left early this morning for KL. Reach at bout 2. Went to tims square. Was really happy to find internet. =). Chatted with Juliet till now.

Thoughts

To Juliet,

It' not ur fault i'm emo. I'm usually lyk tis anw. =) besides, when i talk to you i feel happy. it's just tat i don really blog bout it =). so dun feel gulity bout making mi wait.