2 More Days



Sch starts on mon T.T...zzz...haix...y r u the one who always gets angry?...i guess it'a cos u don understand how i feel....can't really blame u...i've nvr really told u n u've nvr rly asked....=/...ah well...haix...i feel so damn sad...my hair have to cut n dye back T.T zzz my precious hair...=/...anws, at least went out ytd. although not rly wat i wanted but it was fun =) anws, i gtg liao cya

I'm Sorry

I want to apologise to some1. Hmm...y do i say some1? i think mostly my blog is onli u read. Ah well....I guess it's too late to try to make amends...But i still wanna apologise. It was wrong to say somethings bout u. i shloud have known why u did some of those things. But i was to dumb to see the reason. I've done so many idiotic things but u still remained a fren to mi. I guess i've gone too far. Will u ever forgive me?

Thank You

I wanna thk nette for tagging =). Yar, i find this song vry catchy =P Thx for saying i made a positive difference. But i dun c wat's e big deal bout smiling to u. I hope we gt to be classmates =D

Monotony

Maybe i have made a positive difference in ppl's life. But even if i didn't n made a negative difference, i dun care =P. If anythink's i'm a waste of space then too bad. Deal wif it. Cos i'm here to stay. N someday i'm gonna make a difference in something. N to more borin stuff. I've got nothing to do tmr T,T zzzzzzz i wanted to go to e beach to camwhore but thr isn't any1 free n crazy enuf zzz haix. i guess i'll have to wait for e sch hols whenever it is. T.T

Hit By A Sudden Realisation

Nooooooooo!!!! I jus realied nxt monday is 2 feb. T.T Y??? Thr goes e beach unless thr's someone random enuf to go wif mi on fri. of which thr is no one waaahhh T.T . my week of freedom suddenly became 2 days eeeek T.T i wanna dieee. T.T the beachh~ thr goes e beach~ T.T

I'm Not Gonna Ruin My Last Days of Freedom B'cos Of You



Gawddd. My sis is watching some korean drama. It's so damn corny!!! I can't belive ppl like to watch these kind of shows. I bet all the grls watch it onli for the good looking male actors -.- . Anw i'm damn happy after Cny. All my uncles n aunties say i look vry good n commentted tat i lost alot of weight =D hehhehheh. One of them said tat i look like i come from e campus superstar competition. =P. okay lah.honestly it's cos of my coloured hair. but i'll pretend tat it's cos i look good. -.- i'm so egoistic. anws, i'm not gonna emo cos of u. i've got a few weeks left b4 2 years of torture starts. ur not gonna ruin it.u obviously can't see my good points or dun want to. of wait. u've nvr even gone out wif mi hw to c? well it's ur loss. =P. but i still wanna talk to u bout something.

I'm Trying To Hate You...



No matter how many times i think of the pain u've caused, i still can't bring myself to hate u...I jus hate the things u've done...This will be the last post about u...I've wasted my whole blog about u...Hoping that u'll understand how i feel n why...The truth is the only reason i blog is cos i wanted ur attention...Pathetic huh? I knew u would nvr like mi. I was happy jus to have u talk to mi...I liked the you just kept on talking n nvr shut up...zzz...i'm not supposed to think of y i like u...i should be thinking of y i should hate u...but i can't...Y?...y did u even giv me a bit of hope in the first place only to have some jerk come by and take it away...and he didn't even noe wat he had...it's not fair...i nvr has been for mi...i thought that u were perfect...i love y can i never have wat i want? i couldn't be wif qing ye...i still miss her sometimesshe was so innocent...i wish i nvr met her in the first place...then i wouldn't have broken her heart...i guess u're right to like mi...i'll be a lousy bf...y am i saying these things?...i think i noe why...after all theses things tat u've done to mi i still want ur attension...i guess i'll spend the rest of my post bitching bout hw pathetic i feel bout the things you've done...maybe i should have just agree to go out wif u back in december instead of calling it off when u said u felt uncomfortable going out with me...y do u always tell that to me? do u noe how it makes me feel? i feel like i've commited some horrible crime or i'm some disguting person.........whenever u rply to mi bout my posts u nvr seem to focus on the parts which i rly want u to ans.....n what's the point of constantly telling me u feel guilty when u do nothing abt it?i dun noe y i should do something if u feel guilty when u dun do anything when i feel depressed or sad.. It doesn't make me feel any btr...it jus makes u feel btr...not tat it makes any diff now...i hate myself so much...i asked myself what difference would thr bo if i didn't exist? would things be btr? i think tat thing would be btr for every1 if i didn't exist...i've nvr made any positive difference in any1's life...

I promised myself i wouldn't think like tat...I dun wanna feel so pathetic....I dun want to...but i jus can't help it...wad did i do wrong?...i noe i didn't do anything wrong but i till feel like such a idiot...like i should have done something else...like i shld be different...i told myself not to be like this...i want to put all this negative emotions away...but they jus come back... maybe it's btr this way...for me to keep feeling miserable....i feel used to this pain...when it hit it feels so familiar...i guess i wun be goin anywhr nw...it's btr for me to stay at home...i'll probably nt go to e beach for who noes hw long...goodbye...

I Feel Horrible



I'm havin withdrawal syptoms...I nid to go somewhere whr e sun is enjoyed. Okay. I'm i wanna go to a beach T.T . I wanna feel the sand in my toes, the wind in my hair and the water around my feet. gosh. I'm sick of goin all e standard places i go to. shopping ctrs, lan shops. zzz. I wann go some whr different T.T . Some part of s'pore i haven't been to. or the beach. I rly enjoy looking at new places. Whenever my dad drives thru some neighbourhood i've nvr been to i'll be staring out e window. Haix. Tmr is gonna be another borin day staring at e com. =/. i dun wanna spend my last days of freedom staring at tis damned laptop!!! I wanna do something b4 2nd feb!!! Sry to ppl i keep buggin to go out wif mi cos my days of freedom are limited T.T Beachh..... I feel so horriblle. I haven't been to e beach in AGES. the closest was west coast park n e onli sand was in e play ground T.T

Sleepy...

Yawn...It's lyk 4 nw...I jus came back from my uncle's place. Yawn... Anws, i'm so happy cny is here. I nid all e cash so i can go shopping =P. My wardrobe is i nid of a serious make over....Gosh i sound so gay...-.- ah well.... Btw, will u be online anytime soon? I wanna talk to eu. N e west coast park fotos r still nt up T.T...the onli 1 on e net is e on wif me n Kathleen. zzz anws cya all ppl

Doesn't Matter Anymore

Haix...=/ u hardly talk to mi anymore these days...Ah well...Doesn't matter to mi anymore...I'm not gonna think tat u don wanna talk mi cos i'm a loser...I noe I'm not...No one's gonna make me feel like 1 anymore...It's ur loss if u dun wanna talk to mi. I'm not gonna ask myself y does tat "guy" seem btr. I noe i'm btr in many other ways. If u can't c it then it's ur prob. Ur loss. I dun c y i bother so much trying to go out wif u. Since dun wish to spend time wif me it's not my prob. Nxt time i'm jus gonna ask u whether u wanna go out once. If u can't be bothered than i won't care. as i've said. Ur loss. =). U obviously dun care how if ur making me sad. Or care that i spend so much time blogging or thinking bout u. If u aren't even a lil bit appreciative of my feelings than i won care anymore. =P. Fine even if u say u did care u didn't do i thing rite? wat's e point of caring then stting there n doin nthing? =) From nw on i'm nt gonna let wadeva u do to decide my mood. Wadeva u do doesn't matter anymore. On a lighter note, my youth group had games at west coast park. I'll be puting up e fotos once someone uploads it....Honesty , i think something's wrong wif mi.....I enjoy cam-whoring n i like shopping....=/....

Enjoy Life

Gosh, i'm speding my days so unproductively...whole day at home usin com -.-...mus go out more....I WANNA GO TO A BEACH!!! zzz today was such a nice sunny day....can some ask mi out to e beach? any1? please? haix...i dout any1 would so random as to jus suddenly go to a beach wif out planning =/ haix...anws....whr r u? i hardly c eu around these days...either i dun c u or ur busy haix...ah well wad to......y don u rply to my msgs? mus be cos i'm too irritating or u couldn't be bothered to reply to a loser like mi....okay, i doubt so...the logical explaination would be ur fone has no money or battery...i kinda doubt e 2nd 1 as i msged quite awhile ago....ah well...i shldn't put too much thought into...who cares which1 it is =)

Sleep Cures Emoness =)

I feel btr...Not so emo liao...=)...Shldn't think so much....Who gives a damn whether or not ur crush likes you...okay fine i do but i shldn't =)...I don't care if my crush goes out n haves fun wif some lame guy who hate mi but feels uncomfortable when i ask her out =) nt my prob...yawn...

I Hate Everything

Y the hell does life have to be so unfair? Y did i have to be so pathetic? F*** it... Y in the world do i like her anw?...Wth is wrong wif mi? I hate myself. I hate everything. Esp tat guy. I F***ing hate him. Blind idiot...doesn't c wat he has...Her heart....Wadever...Doesn't make a diff to me...I'll nvr have it anw. Whether he sees it or not...She'll nvr like someone as pathetic as mi....Y was i so damned stupid to think thr was even a small little chance?....F***.....

Mus be rly fun for u to make mi feel jealous n emo....Is it rly worth it?...All the times when sat thr staring at my msn wishin u were online...Looking at my tagbox wondeing if u'll say something nice...Holding my fone hoping that u would msg mi...Wad am i doin....I'm such a loser...

I Miss U

Zzz. I suck...I'm feeling rly pathetic nw....Pls avoid mi cos may become vry tempremental n write a vry negative post...so pls read wif discretion... Haix...I'm guessing u dun rly wanna go out wif mi. Tat's y eu keep comin up wif excuses. Can u jus tell mi so n not beat around e bush?.....K i'm jus assuming tat...I noe it's not true...I hope...But i jus can't help but feel so....Haix...Or maybe u dun rly want to but u being sch a nice person feels obliged to go out wif mi once but don't rly look 4ward to it...Tat's a possibility...But i shldn't assume so.....But still....Haix...Knowing you, u'll tag putting something u think is encouraging but i'll still stay emo cos it's not wat i rly wanna hear...either tat or u'll not tag at all cos ur too busy goin out wif other friends to come online but i'll still feel rly sad tat u didn't tag despite know thr was a valid reaso. c i'm so smart -.- it's just a guess. dun say i putting words in ur mouth. or maybe u jus won tag at all cos u dun noe wad to say. shld tat come true, i'll feel even more emo seeing tat u didn't tag -.-...it's nice to know my immediate future is so bleak seeing tat all three options leaves mi feeling rly sadd =_=... lol. hopefully thr's 4th option whr by i get happy =)...i hope....-.-


BTW PPL I'M GONNA PUT MY BLOG AS PRIVATE SO IF U WANNA READ, PLS TAG/TELL ME IN SOME WAY. THIS IS DONE SO TAT I NOE WHO READING EVEN THO NO ONE TAGS THANK YOU

My Mind's In A Daze

Haix...so many things have happened these few days. Some gd, some nt so gd...Tues was damn suay. So many bad things happen to mi -.-. eg. spilled something in my bag n dirty everything inside, wan to send someone home get off on wrong stop. -.- when go back cannot find e person n feel like an idiot. haix.... Wed, silvia went back to myanmar T.T will miss u gurl. I went wif a few others to go see her off. waah evelyn, melissa n faunia came super late. almost didn't make it. Haix. I starting to regret goin to jc...won be able to c someone....well some day can bah if jc ends early...haix....y is it everytime i ask u out ur busy? mus be a coincedence...still..do u even want to go out wif mi in e 1st place?...i bet if tat guy asked u ou on valentines day u would have jumped on e opportunity rite. hmm...when i mention "tat guy" i suddenl think of something rly funny concerning silvia. lolz. anw back to e topic. u will rite? haix...any1 ever wish u were born as someone else? some btr then the pathetic person u are nw? i do....always....y can't i have wat tat guy has? y can't i be more charming instead of being such a loser?....y can't i be sweeter instead of being so blur...okay i can think of a really corny way to anws tat -.-...haix this isn't helpin...i mus think positive thoughts....i mus think positive thoughts...i mus think positive thoughts....
I'm screwed!! T.T

I Feel So Empty

I feel less emo nw...Bt i dun feel happy either...I jus feel empty...Haix~ I jus dun noe wad to do...Bout so so many things...Can u tell mi wad to do?

Feel The Wind In Your Hair And The Rain On Your Skin

Random fact bout mi: I really enjoy windy or rainy days. Sometimes, i wake up in the middle of the nite to go stand at the balcony window. It's usually quite windy at nite...Haix...I dn noe if i shld keep waiting...I dun noe wad to do if i continue....Sigh~

Sad And Lonely~

I just realised y i felt so empty...No one really congradulated mi on hw i did...my parents did...but i can tell they wanted mi to do btr...i worked really hard n i'm happy wif myself...but they're not...even tho they dun say it...i feel really happy bout myself...i think i did really well...everyone else jus thinks i did "okay"...and then something else happened to add to my troubles...i can't even cheer someone up...wat's the point? y shld i keep trying to go after her when i can't make her happy of make a diff to her?..

Joy And Sorrow

Results:

English: A2

Humanities: B3

E Maths: A1

A Maths: B3

Chem: B3

Phy: B3

L1R5: 15

YAY!!!!

Honestly, i'm damn happy wif my results =D. Yet..i dun feel as happy as i had imagined i would be...something's missing...i dun noe...

My Life's Path Depends On A Piece Of Paper

I btr blog b4 i gt my results cos if they suck i'll be to emo to blog =X. Anws i had pri sch gathering on sat. It was fun. So nice to meet all my old sch mates. Every1 looks so differenttt. But i still can recognise most of em. Onli 4gt e names =X

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I Hate Myself

Wad does he have tat i don...wat has he don tat i can't....Oh wait. Stupid qn. I don have ANYTHING. N thx for rubbing it in...You noe when u told mi tat last nite? U noe wad i did? Most guys would go hit somethign or go shout at someone etc etc. N guess wad? As u said. I'm like a gurl. I took my bolster hugged it n cried. Yay i noe. I'm a total loser. No wonder u won ever like mi...Wadever...

I hate life...y did i have to be such a loser...pls dun apologise again...thx for trying to make me feel btr tho it doesn't help.....doesn't make a diff to me who he is or whether he likes u or not...the fact is that u'll nvr have feelings for mi no matter wad i will do or say...so just forget it...dun bother about me...

Bored, Lethargic, Lonely And Irritated

I went off for lunch wif louis at west mall cos i gt NOTHING to do at home...haix...Anws went thr, we decided to eat at kou fu. When reach the top, we both suddenly feel lyk eating sub way instead -.-....Anws after that we went by e sch to go try to confirm e O-lvl release date. Jus opposite e sch, i bumped into this aboslute b-....I'm not supposed to use vulgarities but i'm sure u get my point -.-... that ***** see mi n she immediatly start laughing at my hair...*****.....Anw it think it's one of those kinds of laughs whr the thing isn't funny but u jus laugh to irritate or piss of e person -.-....Argg...Anws i saw Mdm Lock in e MRT station gosh...so nice to c her after so long...She such a good teacher...Nvr scolds mi when i slp or dun pass up hw =P lol. But she seriously is lah.

Sleepy, Moody n Lonely~

I'd btr blog b4 i fall asleep due to exhaustion...I had an all nighter at church ytd...Stared at 8.30 whr we had thanks giving service...Then did some lame stuff...the thing ended at 3 after the worship n prayer...Then since thr were no buses, i camped out in church...did some lame stuff...then went off to to the wall sat on it n jus did nothing...i wouldn't call it emoing...i wasn't really sad...well, maybe a bit cos of e loneliness...then i just sat thr n thought bout stuff...i remembered my sec 3 camp...2nd nite, i was doing the same thing. sitting dorms jus doing nothing...i dun rmb y i was doin tat or wat i thought about...but wat i do rmb was this girl who came by to accompany me...who sat wif me n talked to me...i don rmb wat we talked about...onli tat she was thr...maybe it was cos she was lonely too...maybe it was cos she was a nice person..maybe it was cos she pitied the poor lil guy tat was just sitting thr...i don noe...but i was a nice gesture...a lil act of kindness tat i still rmb till now........okay tat was kinda random...mus be the lack of sleep yawn....(falls asleep on keyboard)...