I promised myself i wouldn't think like tat...I dun wanna feel so pathetic....I dun want to...but i jus can't help it...wad did i do wrong?...i noe i didn't do anything wrong but i till feel like such a idiot...like i should have done something else...like i shld be different...i told myself not to be like this...i want to put all this negative emotions away...but they jus come back... maybe it's btr this way...for me to keep feeling miserable....i feel used to this pain...when it hit it feels so familiar...i guess i wun be goin anywhr nw...it's btr for me to stay at home...i'll probably nt go to e beach for who noes hw long...goodbye...