I'm Trying To Hate You...



No matter how many times i think of the pain u've caused, i still can't bring myself to hate u...I jus hate the things u've done...This will be the last post about u...I've wasted my whole blog about u...Hoping that u'll understand how i feel n why...The truth is the only reason i blog is cos i wanted ur attention...Pathetic huh? I knew u would nvr like mi. I was happy jus to have u talk to mi...I liked the you just kept on talking n nvr shut up...zzz...i'm not supposed to think of y i like u...i should be thinking of y i should hate u...but i can't...Y?...y did u even giv me a bit of hope in the first place only to have some jerk come by and take it away...and he didn't even noe wat he had...it's not fair...i nvr has been for mi...i thought that u were perfect...i love y can i never have wat i want? i couldn't be wif qing ye...i still miss her sometimesshe was so innocent...i wish i nvr met her in the first place...then i wouldn't have broken her heart...i guess u're right to like mi...i'll be a lousy bf...y am i saying these things?...i think i noe why...after all theses things tat u've done to mi i still want ur attension...i guess i'll spend the rest of my post bitching bout hw pathetic i feel bout the things you've done...maybe i should have just agree to go out wif u back in december instead of calling it off when u said u felt uncomfortable going out with me...y do u always tell that to me? do u noe how it makes me feel? i feel like i've commited some horrible crime or i'm some disguting person.........whenever u rply to mi bout my posts u nvr seem to focus on the parts which i rly want u to ans.....n what's the point of constantly telling me u feel guilty when u do nothing abt it?i dun noe y i should do something if u feel guilty when u dun do anything when i feel depressed or sad.. It doesn't make me feel any btr...it jus makes u feel btr...not tat it makes any diff now...i hate myself so much...i asked myself what difference would thr bo if i didn't exist? would things be btr? i think tat thing would be btr for every1 if i didn't exist...i've nvr made any positive difference in any1's life...