I'VE MOVED

I'VE MOVED

http://leuvenlee.livejournal.com/

most of my posts are only viewable by friends so ask me to add if ur interested =)

210 Minutes To Midnight

I need to blog more now tat exams are over. Haha. I feel btr in e previous post =). I tend to be bitchy and emo once it passes 2 a.m. Looked a my profile part of my blog. Decided to take away all e wants tat include bgr. So all tat's left under desires is ice cream =). One can nvr have enuff ice cream ^^. Hmm, as for my bgr life, ask mi personally if ur really interested =P. I wonder if ppl from my current class will read tis. If they do they'll most probably come suan me e nxt day. Some anw. Hmm wad should i blog bout =/ How bout you ppl tell me wad you wanna read n i post it bah =)

8 Hours To Freedom

As i look back at my old post, i realize i how pathetic i still am. As much as i would like to think that I've matured I seriously didn't. Well i guess I'm in a pessimistic mood cos it's 4a.m. But i deserve to be in a pessimistic mood! Haha. I'm usually optimistic till it gets on people's nerves. But all in all it's still a farce. Cos i want people to see me as "that happy loser" as compared to "that sad loser". Haha. I'm kinda having an inferiority complex right about now. Comes once in awhile. Well i know when it will come. Can't be helped i guess. Lolz. I don't know why I'm blogging now. Does anyone actually care about all these crap I'm writing? Haix~ I guess I'm hoping people will read this and empathize with me. How pathetic is that? Haha. I miss Timothy. It sucks when your best friend is a few thousand miles away. Wonder if he's havin fun in aussie =/ I have to get back to mugging. cyas

Life Drifts On

It's been epically long since i updated, not really sure what i should be saying. We'll Jc has been tough, i think I'm gonna retain. Well tat is so bad i guess, I'll definitely do very well if that happens. Well, i can really talk much about my social life cos i don't really have one now -.-... only an occasional lunch with a friend, that's bout it. Really miss Tim now that he's a few thousand miles away =/. Well life hasn't really been fun in Jc recently. I don't have anyone i can really talk to bout what real problems are etc. So it can get kinda lonely. When tat happens i just find one of my many friends and bitch to them bout something.. Oh, i've been going out with my cousin quite alot lately. I feel like i've been really blessed to have her. She's one of the few people i can talk to. Went to sp the other day to meet her. Lolz. One of her friend i saw on face book seem reaaaly cute. =X Not supposed to think bout these thing rite bout noe =/ haha.

Special Request Post

This post was requested by a special friend of mine =). Btw, dun expect tat many posts cos of my damned sch T.T.... Haha. Anws, Just got back from m'sia. Boring..... Jus slacked off for 1 week... No motivation to study thr. haha. Although got alot of time to just sit thr and think bout stuff. haha btw, Sil, when u comin? ^^ looking fwd to it =) cya soon. sry my post so short. i rly dun noe wad to put =X. haha

Not Again...

Was drifting thru e net when i found myself here =/... Got hit by a sickness again -.-...the one which i usually fall into. I'm not sure if tis is a passing thing =/. She seems somewhat interested. But could be me reading too much into things. ZzZzZ. But she's really really cute *u*....-.-....Damn. This is an epic waste of time. Anws, went for this SMUN thing. Was extremely fun. Also met her thr -.- argg...How do i get myself in these situations? Darn....

Deaad

My blog is soo dead -.-.. mainly cos no time update. okays. i noe onli eu(jean) read n occasionally silvia. thx for still comin =). hmm i rly dunnoe wad to put. jc's been tiring. finish sch at bout 8.30 everyday. ut it's fun...so far... =/. shld i close dwn my blog? it's gettin rly redundant. hope to cya soon =)

Jean Made Me Do It T.T lolz

10 whats:

1 what is the first thing you thought about when you woke up?
Damn…It’s morning already…

2 what did you do last night?
Chat and facebook

3 what is the most important part of your life right now?
God & School

4 what would you rather be doing right now?
Actually talking to my frens rather then over msn

5 what did you last cry over?
My screwed up finalae

6 what always makes you feel better when you're upset?
Ppl being thr for me =)

7 what are your plans tomorrow?
BLAST! Carnival ^^

8 what are you worried about?
Homework…

9 what are you looking forward to most in this week?
Talking to frens through out e week

10 what are you thinking of right now?
Shopping….

9have-you-evers:

1 liked someone with a girlfriend or boyfriend?
no

2 had your heart broken?
Broken? I’ve nvr rly bothered fixing it =P

3 played on a sports team?
Ehh…Is throwing water bombs a sport?

4 been out of the country?
LOADS

5 been backstabbed by a friend?
Hmm. Kinda. =/

6 had the cops called on you?
Kinda too

7 dated someone younger than you?
Yupp. Haix~

8 read an entire book in one day?
duhhh

9 milked a cow?
o.o LOL nope

8whos:

1 who was the last person you saw?
Mummy =)

2 who was the last person you hugged?
Erm…ppl from e Line camp durin Line nite lolz

3 who was the last person you called?
Timothy

4 who was the last person to call you?
TImothy

5 who was your first crush?
Some gurl from mi pri sch

6 who was the last person to text message you?
Analise Khoo

7 who is the last person you texted?
Analise Khoo

8 who did you last yell at?
Erm..Tee Yang =X

7whens:

1 when was your last shower?
7pm

2 when did you last see your mom?
20 sec ago

3 when was your last hug?
Durin Line nite at Line camp

4 when did you last dress up?
Huh?

5 when was the last time you cried?
Line camp

6 when did you last go to the movie theatre?
Woah. Long long time ago

7 when were you born?
17/11. Rmb it =)

6wheres:

1 where do your best friend live?
I dun have 1

2 where did you last go?
The living room

3 where did you last hang out?
In church. Practicing for this skit/dance thing

4 where do you go to school?
JJC YEAH

5 where is your favourite place to be?
The area outside Ops room. At windows or ledges.

6 where did you sleep last night?
Bed. duhh

5does:

1 like someone right now?
Some ONE

2 they like you too?
Doubt so

3 you ever wish you were someone else?
All the time

4 do you know the muffin man?
The muffin man?

5 does the future scare you?
No. The thought of how uncertain it is excites mi =)

4whys:

1 are you best friends with your best friends?
I dun have 1

2 why did you get a facebook?
How would I noe o.o

3 why did your parents give you the name you have?
Cos they first met in a town call Leuven -.- lolz

4 why are you doing this survey?
Jean told mi to -.-..

3ifs:

1 you could have one superpower, what would it be?
To be anywhr any time. No more taking bus woohoo ^^

2 you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
YES

3 you were stranded on a desert island & could bring one thing what would it be?
Some way to communicate

2would-you-evers:

1 be friends with someone again, who you promised yourself you never would because they were mean to you?
Thr isn’t any1 who has pissed mi off tat much n was my fren =/

2 shave your head to save the person you love?
yupp

LAST 1

1 name a dream you wish to fulfil:
To find some1 I love

I Feel So...Lonely

I wonder why sometimes i have this urge to talk non-stop. It think gets on ppl's nerves. I prefer myself when i'm quiet. But sometimes i jus end up at the other end of the peronality spectrum. I'm feelin rather lonely now. Note lonely. Not sad/emo. Anws. I'm feelin rather confused n unsure. As always. How can 1 be sure of life =). I guess it put's a lil excitement into life. Not knowing wad' gonna happen. Maybe i should jus do things n screw the consequences. Well i've always done tat n i didn't rly like e results =/ Which brings us back to the point which makes life exciting =). Well. Can some come talk to mi? I dun wanna keep goin around to talk to ppl in case i end up irritating them =/ so cyas ppl.

Abit Of Everything

Life has been rather hectic. I've been rly disappointed wif myelf recently. for screwing up my Line camp game and load of other stuff...I rly dun noe myself these days. I dun noe if i'm actually a high enthu frinedly person. Or a quiet person who keeps to himself. Most ppl will think it's the forst. But ppl dun rly see me when i'm in e 2nd part. I dun think i'm emoing. I'm jus being me. Yes, i'm actually a vry quiet person. But my other personality is so extreme that i dun noe wad my acutal personality is. Is my quiet part rly part of me or was i rly emoing. I doubt so cos i usually dun feel sad. I feel...myself. But the high part is oso rly natural =/ ah well. it's not like it cauing any probs. Gosh. i hope i do vry vry vry well in e banni house council. I'd btr do well....Haix =/ cya ppl

Utterly Horrible Week

It's been 1 of the worst weeks of my life... Some many damned things happened. In practitcally every expect some thing bad happened. Love studies friends etc. There are ppl who think i'm irritating for being me. Wat worse she tell mi tat her thinking like tat is ot a big dea to mi. As if. Then i've got a frined who's seemed to care less n less bout me... She's too preoccupied wif other stuff....Then thr another 1 who oso hardly talks to mi nowadays. zzz haix.....

Stressed~

Haix...I've got so much homework but i just can't seem to do any...my mind can't think. Thr are so much other stuff tat's on my mind...1 of my closest frens seems to be in a horrible mood and i can't seem to be able to cheer her up. Some1 seems to be ignoring me. I dun have any1 i can rly talk to now =/.....haixx~ Daaaaaamn......i jus saw my fren's msn pic wif his gf....now i feel even more depressed T.T zzz...It made me think bout even more stuff....which leads to even more uncertainty....eek....Haix. my blog so borin...no pics...i wanna go camwhore T.T....wth is wrong wif me......

Confused And Unsure

=/. Been feeling less moody n sad. But not exactly rly happy either. Jus somewhr in the middle. Now i feel so blur. I dun noe wad i should feel, wad i should do and wad all that's happening means. I jus feel so confused. =X. Arg... I wonder whether wad i'm feeling is correct or isit simply another rash notion. I wonder wad she's thinking... I wonder what in the world i as doin when i did tat! T.T Goshh. I'm thinking too much... Maybe i'm jus overreacting. As always. -.-...zzz. lolz

High A Moment, Depressed Another...

=/... Had mood swings today...Felt depressed, then okay, then depressed and so on...Haix... You would have thought that ppl become more mature when they reach jc. Guess not. Well for some anw...haix...i think i jus lost a fren today ...i've got alot of frens in jj. but vry few close 1s...i think got onli 2... haix....i guess it's btr like tat. i doubt ppl will like mi if they get to rly noe mi. =/ been rly upset recently. Which caused mi to go into irritating mood....I've been trying to get a grip on myself. But i keep seeing things tat cause mi to feel worse, hearing things tat discourage mi...It's just so hard...so confusing...so damned irritating,,, =/...i rly dun wanna be emo... but i can't seem to help it...some ppl may wonder y i can seem to jus go to a random person who's alone n strike up a conv. It's cos i noe how horrible the feeling of loneliness feels. All those times when i just sit in the canteen on my own n ppl dun seem to notice me....I jus keep wishing tat some1 will just come n talk to mi n be concerned as to why i look so dwn. Maybe some do but i'm just too moody to notice n end up chasing them away...Haix~~

Are We Rly Similar?

Haix..I feel so tired. Jc is killin. I went back to bvss for awhile to get cert. Mine for some reason hadn't reached yet -.-.. anws, met quite a few frensthr. eg. fiona , daryl. ended up taking bus wif a group of random sec 3s of which i only noe 1 of em. Was catching up wif abit of gossip n givin them abit of e history of past events concerning my batch LOL. Ended up late in meeting my good fren tim cos 1 of e bus tat came by just drove past -.- wad de.... Anws, i felt bored so i took some personlity test i found on wen yi's blog. Some part rather true some part not some part idk =/

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them. (Kinda true. I can listen well. Although i don't noe bout e hiding myself so much, I've changed myself so much to fit e demands of society i don even noe which part of me is my "true self")

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. (Somewhat true =/)

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straight forwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates. ( o.o cool. although it isn't rly happening right bout now T.T. Lol)

Your views on education:
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own. (o.O rly? lol)

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. (kind of)

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous. ( well not rly =/)

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel. (indeed, i've vented my anger on quite some ppl in camp =X sry to all of which i did)

Who is your true self:
You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust. (So so true)

Roller Coaster


Firstly, some pics from LINE camp

Grace. Btw, i barely noe her. Dun assume anything. Jus a fellow camwhorer ^^

Amanda. E almuni which came to help us =)

Mr Liao (Great Teacher Simon LOL), Uma (emcee) n Asief (night games ic)

Same ppl

Mr liao ( again ) Liyana (my 2nd ic) n Glenn (or zhong yan)
Glenn looks so dead. LOL

Mr liao (AGAIN) lol. Fitri. Zhen Yu aka Tom n Aik Song the Council President

Grace again

Soon Li

Me n Kenneth ^^


Acbc =P

This camp was rly memorable. It was so different doing thing from the point of view of aplanning committee. I'll nvr 4get this camp =)

Lazy

I feel to lazy to post or update.........cyas............

Finally Some1 I Can Talk To =)

Firstly, lemme start off with something which i'm rather disturbed bout. It bout a classmate of mine, rodger. I'm pretty sure h harbours some kind a of a dislike for me. Of which i'm perfectly okay with. I'm used to it. But what troubles me is something which he did. He's the class treasurer. Hence he collects money for everything. when he was collecting asking to collect money, i asked to see what i was paying for. Maybe it was my tone or something but he seemed rather irritated n claimed that i was trying cause trouble for him and that y should i care since i was not under e financial assitance progamme. Honestly, i wasn't trying to cause trouble or anything. Maybe my tone wasnt tat nice cos i was in a bit of a hurry to go. N even tho i'm not under a FAS, i do wish to noe bout what i'm paying for as i don't like to squander my parent's money uneccesarily. =/ Anws, made quite a good friend today. For ppl tat saw me at Jp today we're nthing more then frens -.-...dun giv me that look. Finally some1 i can rly talk to =). i'll elaborate more nxt time. dad's rushin mi. cya all

1 More Week Till I'm Screwed

It's been soo long since i've blogged. Been rly busy lately. Everyday reach home damn late. The only day which i went home late n it wasn't cos of planning com was ytd. Cos i mugged a bit at west mall mac. It's been so hectic recently. But it's been fun lah. Somewhat. Well compared to other committees n the facilitators it seems boring -.-...I dun rly noe wad to blog bout now..=/ i guess i'll just talk bout ytd. It rly didn't feel like saturday. I had to go back to sch the whole day. I finish at bout 7+. Then went to mac. On e way there i kept getting suan or dao by the twins n kenneth. I got a feeling my class doesn't rly like me. But who cares. Then i went to talk to analise since she was rather quiet. Was cos she wasn't from our class n got nth to talk bout. She's a secetriat tat i met while slackng in the leaders network. (it' a room for leaders) Her name rly cool rite? I was like, " hey your name's rly cool" . Then i saw that her suname was koo. N i was like okayy..LOL. Anws, i found out that she was a fellow slacker ^^....wait.....tat's not a good thing...-.-....At mac, i onli bought a coffee cos i was havin dinner at home. I spent motof e time talking to analise. Quite fun to talk to her. The other say we in a world of our own. I tried talking to them they oso dao mi -.-..So wad's e point. lol. My first impression of her was vry different from wad i found her to b afterwards. She looked more innocent at first. Lol.

Dedication

Jean/Kiko

I'd like to thank you for being a good frined to my despite all the things that have happened. I noe that i can count on eu for support and advise whenever i need. Thank you for all that you've done. Hmm...according to other ppls dedications, i'm supposed to say when i met u or how i got to noe eu....but i can't rmb...=X. Lolz Cya soon

Busy Busy Busy



Gosh. It's 11.30 n i still got a proposal to finish. T.T I shan't blog so much. I still got a very bad cough. Tho no more fever. I got so much thing to sayy. But no time T.T I hope i'm free soon =/



P.S. Thx to all those who tagged =). it means alot =D

I've Got A Fever, I'm Hot. I Can't Be Stopped

Tat's part of a cheer in jj. n guess wad? i Do have a fever -.-...i shan't blog so much cos i'm rly tired =/ maybe tmr. cya all

Drowing My Sorrows Wif Peach Tea

Is it fate? Or is it the fact the 4 bus 174s pass for every bus 180 -.- It's happened twice in a row. When i get off to change bus n seeing her at e bus stop too. It's not tat i feel uncomfortable...I jus get this pang for sadness n regret everytime i c her...=/. Ah well...at least it's jus a "pang" not "my heart breaks" ^^. Later i bump into her again on e way home tmr o.o lol. I've got a cabinet council interview tmr. I hope i make a good impression =). Yawn. Well i dun rly have much else to update bout. Maybe will have more stuff tmr. Cya ppl.

TGIM (Not)

Gosh. I think jjc has this effect on ppl whr by u get high n do things wif out thinking thru it =X...-.-...This week has been damn crazy. In terms of studies, it was kinda okay. Anws, on to e crazy part. I dated a gurl tat i onli knew for 2 days. like wth. lol. then broke up two days later -.-...it kinda sucked. but who cares. Thr r loads more gurls in Jj -.-...lol. I've got a councillor interview on mon/tue. i think i mentioned it b4 =/. ah well. i dun noe wad to blog bout these days. Oh yar i'm in king albert part "muggin" now. actually i've barely done anywork =X. i'd btr get started now cya.

Sympathies Needed...

I dun rly wish to blog bout wat's bothering me....If u wanna noe, pls ask personally....feel free to call or msg...-.-....gosh...i sound so pathetic...ah well...i nid some1 to talk to =/...any1 oso can...haix...enuff emoing. sch has been rather fun. i have a councilor interview on mon/tue. shld be a breeze. haix. i nid to look at sch more positvely =/. then can enjoy sch ^^. anws, i gtg church liao. cya all.

Pls note...i'm not in a rly good mood now. I dun wanna post emo posts, but i jus wanna let ppl noe i'm feeling vry sad...I'm such an attension seeker -.-...

How Do i Continue From Here?

Goshh. I suddenly dun feel like being a councilor...i wanna be an ogl T.T . Ah well. I'll just try my best n c whr God puts mi. I rly love my class. I feel vry welcome thr. I can jus talk to any1 thr. I hope we continue to grow closer. Class motto: Standing Tall Forever United. The acronym's vulgur so i shn't mention it...although i did partially come up wif e motto =X lol. anws, I wanna be n ogl so i can be like our class' ogls. Michelle n Wan Rong. I mus mention them cos i was bitching tat mich didn't mention mi in her blog. Lol. Michelle: She's this hot chick who is super act cute n hyper. But she put in alot of effort during e camp n i rly admire her perseverance n spirit, Wan Rong too. Wan Rong: e founder of all e "gays" in our class (Kenneth,Ray n Me ^^) lol. anw, even tho he doesn't seem to be those kind of rly out goin ppl, he rly made an effort to be close to all of us. n it's oso rly fun to have him around =). Tat's bout all about our Ogls. =) Lovely ppl. I'll post more maybe later or tmr. i Wanna go surf e net liao => cya all.

Two Hundred And Twenty Two Steps Till Ur Out Of Sight



Haix...Today didn't end so well...Maybe i did something wrong. Maybe i was too hasty =/....Today was okay. But on e way home...haix...i dun noe if i shld elaborate on this...c 1st bahh...yawwn....

She Loves me, She Loves Me Not

Wah liaao. I realised i didn't post ytd's post properly -.- ah well, it's up now. Anws, today's sch was super long. ended at like 4.3o. yawwn anws, i was looking 4 some1 to take bus wif, then found out tat this gurl from my clb class lives vry close to me, Davita. Then when go to bpp, we bought a drink then decided to walk e remaining dist instead of busing home. Talked for awhile, then ended up havin her over my house for dinner. Loll. Anws, tmr sch ends quite early ^^. I nid to sleep liao. so cya all.

The Journey Is Long



Now i'm havina mass conv wif my class. Lol damn funny. Goshh. i haven't blogged since e camp. E camp was sooo funn. Had loads of water games n cheering n Jj nite owned. Had like loads of mass dances. Oso got to noe e ppl from my class btr. I soo hate e gender raito class T.T It sux to have onli 5 gurls in my class T.T. But i'm happy to be in this class. It so fun. Even tho...hmm... how do i put tis. Ah, thr's a high demand n a low supply in my class. Lol. The ppl thr r vry nice. Thr this joker (roger) a gay ( kenneth) a one man class comittee (kang something). Thr a female gamer in my class ^^. (Mitchelle) Some short enthu gurl (estee) some gurl which looks at me n laffs everytime i ask her something -.-...(ester) ...hmm...i dunnoe how to describe elizabeth...ah well...Thr's a lot more guys but i oso dunnoe how to describe =/. Nvms. Haix... i wanna join e council...but dunnoe if ppl will vote 4 mi T.T

Gloomyy

The weather has completely killed watever little bit of cheerfulness left in me. I triied to be happy but the weaher jus wasn't helping...T.T i was like raing n the sky was turning dark...I can jus imagine myself walking in that rain wearing a jacket wif e hood over my head. Classic emo look. Rain. Dark sky. Dark jacket wif hood over head. -.- ah well....i'm gonna slp liao. cya all.

Guilt

=/...haixx....i've always hated wat this guy did to one of my friends...i tot tat he was such an ******* to do such a thing...but now...i feel like i'm just as bad as him...i feel so guilty....i feel like i've let down a friend of mine.... haix...on a lighter note i've got sch tmr ^ ^...wat is wrong wif mi?! i'm looking forward to sch -.-....well thr is this rly cute girl at e prayer meeting i usually go to. -.-...i rly nvr learn...i nid to concentrate on my studiess! Not rly rly cute gurls arg....-.-....ah well....lol. (random: my neck is hurting T.T) anw thx to those who tagged ^ ^ cya all

Unsure...

Haix...I'm feeling a lil down... I dun feel so excited bout life anymore...=/...At least i'm not xtremely emo =l...Jus inbetween bored and emo...I feel so...unsure of what is to come...of what i should do...for things that i noe is to come n what to do, i don't look forward to them...Haix..=/...I can't belive i'm doin this again...I get the feeling if i do it i'll end up emoing again..argg...so y am i still considering it?...Okay i noe y...zzz...Ah well...At least, i look forward to sch. =l...Yawn...Cya all...Leave a tag...pls....

I Love Jjc

Jjc. Day 3. It is soo nice to sleep in jj. Thr's air-con everywhr ^.^ Anws, e lectures whr good. i slept ine first two n got scolded on e 4th (for eating e LT) , -.-...anws, thr r so mani ccas i wanna join. E game club (dotaa!!) chi chess club,student council (to make my portfolio look vry nice) table tennis. n a few others T.T...ah well...anws, i rlyy need to thank my OGL for givin out e contact list. Now dun nid ask tis gurl for her number n e-mail can jus refer n save me e trouble ^.^ lol. anws, i can't talk too much today. nid sleep liao. Pls tagg T.T my hit counter goin up but tagbox still dead T.T anyhow tag oso can. cya all.

Turn It Up, It Five Minutes To Midnight

Jjc, day 2. I enjoyed myself again. I so love Jjc. I jus found out tat almost all e cheers tat i noe of originated in jj. Cool huh? Anws, we had a few talks today, bout subject combi, cca. I chose maths , phy chem and H1 econs. Had more games. Then had mass dance. Again. Was more fun then ytd. I had tis cute gurl as a dance partner then ended up havin to change T.T . Okay lah. E other 1 wasn't so bad. The Wan Ting came running by. Swaped wif her then i ended up wif wt. -.- . lol. okay lah. it was more fun cos she wasn't tat unenthu. Unlike ytd. I ended up wif tis rly short malay gurl who looked rly fair. I didn't noe she was malay till she told mi her name o.o.. Anws, when i said hi to her she was like o.O . She jus looked at mi. N she seemed damn sian. Ah well. Ovr liao. i met tis gurl from zhen hua sec tat looked alot like fiona. o.o....Tmr gt lectures. I was kinda looking fwd to it till so stupid ogl (orientation group leader) said it was exactly the same as sec sch class execpt the lecturers dun ask qns. They jus talk....i'm so gonna fall asleep T.T Well, tmr gt some cca exibiton which i'm looking fwd to. N i got my jjc uniform!! Yay! okay...the shirt's abit too big . I actually got e correct size but i went to get a bigger size -.-....chatted wif jean...hmm chatted isn't an appropriate word...more like listened. once she talks, u dun nid talk liao. onli can listen lol. but it was nice to have a "chat" wif her. i nid to slp liao...mus wake up at 4.45 tmr...zzz damned sch so far....btw, i've got above 1000 visits =D. TAG PPL ty

Tireedd...



Today was e first day of sch =D. Was fun at times n boring at times. Born cos had alot of talks (admin day) oso cos gt a principal who's a cross between Mr loh n Mrs Tan -.-...Fun cos e Jjc leaders were all super enthu. Anws, i can't wait for e lectures. I wanna c wat's it like.Well, met alot of ppl thr today. I can't rmb any of their names -.-...I didn't think of her today. Maybe it's cos it was rly busy. Maybe it's cos i couldn't be bothered bout u anymore. I guess ur jus not worth thinking bout or emoing over. Thr r mani fishes in e pond. In Jjc anw =P. May not have time to post over e nxt few days cos maybe rly tired. PLS TAG PPL. I DUN CARE WAD U SAY. JUST TAG!

was planning to update today but i'm too tired to think *yawn* i'll update tmr ppl *falls asleep on keyboard n snores*

2 More Days



Sch starts on mon T.T...zzz...haix...y r u the one who always gets angry?...i guess it'a cos u don understand how i feel....can't really blame u...i've nvr really told u n u've nvr rly asked....=/...ah well...haix...i feel so damn sad...my hair have to cut n dye back T.T zzz my precious hair...=/...anws, at least went out ytd. although not rly wat i wanted but it was fun =) anws, i gtg liao cya

I'm Sorry

I want to apologise to some1. Hmm...y do i say some1? i think mostly my blog is onli u read. Ah well....I guess it's too late to try to make amends...But i still wanna apologise. It was wrong to say somethings bout u. i shloud have known why u did some of those things. But i was to dumb to see the reason. I've done so many idiotic things but u still remained a fren to mi. I guess i've gone too far. Will u ever forgive me?

Thank You

I wanna thk nette for tagging =). Yar, i find this song vry catchy =P Thx for saying i made a positive difference. But i dun c wat's e big deal bout smiling to u. I hope we gt to be classmates =D

Monotony

Maybe i have made a positive difference in ppl's life. But even if i didn't n made a negative difference, i dun care =P. If anythink's i'm a waste of space then too bad. Deal wif it. Cos i'm here to stay. N someday i'm gonna make a difference in something. N to more borin stuff. I've got nothing to do tmr T,T zzzzzzz i wanted to go to e beach to camwhore but thr isn't any1 free n crazy enuf zzz haix. i guess i'll have to wait for e sch hols whenever it is. T.T

Hit By A Sudden Realisation

Nooooooooo!!!! I jus realied nxt monday is 2 feb. T.T Y??? Thr goes e beach unless thr's someone random enuf to go wif mi on fri. of which thr is no one waaahhh T.T . my week of freedom suddenly became 2 days eeeek T.T i wanna dieee. T.T the beachh~ thr goes e beach~ T.T

I'm Not Gonna Ruin My Last Days of Freedom B'cos Of You



Gawddd. My sis is watching some korean drama. It's so damn corny!!! I can't belive ppl like to watch these kind of shows. I bet all the grls watch it onli for the good looking male actors -.- . Anw i'm damn happy after Cny. All my uncles n aunties say i look vry good n commentted tat i lost alot of weight =D hehhehheh. One of them said tat i look like i come from e campus superstar competition. =P. okay lah.honestly it's cos of my coloured hair. but i'll pretend tat it's cos i look good. -.- i'm so egoistic. anws, i'm not gonna emo cos of u. i've got a few weeks left b4 2 years of torture starts. ur not gonna ruin it.u obviously can't see my good points or dun want to. of wait. u've nvr even gone out wif mi hw to c? well it's ur loss. =P. but i still wanna talk to u bout something.

I'm Trying To Hate You...



No matter how many times i think of the pain u've caused, i still can't bring myself to hate u...I jus hate the things u've done...This will be the last post about u...I've wasted my whole blog about u...Hoping that u'll understand how i feel n why...The truth is the only reason i blog is cos i wanted ur attention...Pathetic huh? I knew u would nvr like mi. I was happy jus to have u talk to mi...I liked the you just kept on talking n nvr shut up...zzz...i'm not supposed to think of y i like u...i should be thinking of y i should hate u...but i can't...Y?...y did u even giv me a bit of hope in the first place only to have some jerk come by and take it away...and he didn't even noe wat he had...it's not fair...i nvr has been for mi...i thought that u were perfect...i love y can i never have wat i want? i couldn't be wif qing ye...i still miss her sometimesshe was so innocent...i wish i nvr met her in the first place...then i wouldn't have broken her heart...i guess u're right to like mi...i'll be a lousy bf...y am i saying these things?...i think i noe why...after all theses things tat u've done to mi i still want ur attension...i guess i'll spend the rest of my post bitching bout hw pathetic i feel bout the things you've done...maybe i should have just agree to go out wif u back in december instead of calling it off when u said u felt uncomfortable going out with me...y do u always tell that to me? do u noe how it makes me feel? i feel like i've commited some horrible crime or i'm some disguting person.........whenever u rply to mi bout my posts u nvr seem to focus on the parts which i rly want u to ans.....n what's the point of constantly telling me u feel guilty when u do nothing abt it?i dun noe y i should do something if u feel guilty when u dun do anything when i feel depressed or sad.. It doesn't make me feel any btr...it jus makes u feel btr...not tat it makes any diff now...i hate myself so much...i asked myself what difference would thr bo if i didn't exist? would things be btr? i think tat thing would be btr for every1 if i didn't exist...i've nvr made any positive difference in any1's life...

I promised myself i wouldn't think like tat...I dun wanna feel so pathetic....I dun want to...but i jus can't help it...wad did i do wrong?...i noe i didn't do anything wrong but i till feel like such a idiot...like i should have done something else...like i shld be different...i told myself not to be like this...i want to put all this negative emotions away...but they jus come back... maybe it's btr this way...for me to keep feeling miserable....i feel used to this pain...when it hit it feels so familiar...i guess i wun be goin anywhr nw...it's btr for me to stay at home...i'll probably nt go to e beach for who noes hw long...goodbye...

I Feel Horrible



I'm havin withdrawal syptoms...I nid to go somewhere whr e sun is enjoyed. Okay. I'm i wanna go to a beach T.T . I wanna feel the sand in my toes, the wind in my hair and the water around my feet. gosh. I'm sick of goin all e standard places i go to. shopping ctrs, lan shops. zzz. I wann go some whr different T.T . Some part of s'pore i haven't been to. or the beach. I rly enjoy looking at new places. Whenever my dad drives thru some neighbourhood i've nvr been to i'll be staring out e window. Haix. Tmr is gonna be another borin day staring at e com. =/. i dun wanna spend my last days of freedom staring at tis damned laptop!!! I wanna do something b4 2nd feb!!! Sry to ppl i keep buggin to go out wif mi cos my days of freedom are limited T.T Beachh..... I feel so horriblle. I haven't been to e beach in AGES. the closest was west coast park n e onli sand was in e play ground T.T

Sleepy...

Yawn...It's lyk 4 nw...I jus came back from my uncle's place. Yawn... Anws, i'm so happy cny is here. I nid all e cash so i can go shopping =P. My wardrobe is i nid of a serious make over....Gosh i sound so gay...-.- ah well.... Btw, will u be online anytime soon? I wanna talk to eu. N e west coast park fotos r still nt up T.T...the onli 1 on e net is e on wif me n Kathleen. zzz anws cya all ppl

Doesn't Matter Anymore

Haix...=/ u hardly talk to mi anymore these days...Ah well...Doesn't matter to mi anymore...I'm not gonna think tat u don wanna talk mi cos i'm a loser...I noe I'm not...No one's gonna make me feel like 1 anymore...It's ur loss if u dun wanna talk to mi. I'm not gonna ask myself y does tat "guy" seem btr. I noe i'm btr in many other ways. If u can't c it then it's ur prob. Ur loss. I dun c y i bother so much trying to go out wif u. Since dun wish to spend time wif me it's not my prob. Nxt time i'm jus gonna ask u whether u wanna go out once. If u can't be bothered than i won't care. as i've said. Ur loss. =). U obviously dun care how if ur making me sad. Or care that i spend so much time blogging or thinking bout u. If u aren't even a lil bit appreciative of my feelings than i won care anymore. =P. Fine even if u say u did care u didn't do i thing rite? wat's e point of caring then stting there n doin nthing? =) From nw on i'm nt gonna let wadeva u do to decide my mood. Wadeva u do doesn't matter anymore. On a lighter note, my youth group had games at west coast park. I'll be puting up e fotos once someone uploads it....Honesty , i think something's wrong wif mi.....I enjoy cam-whoring n i like shopping....=/....

Enjoy Life

Gosh, i'm speding my days so unproductively...whole day at home usin com -.-...mus go out more....I WANNA GO TO A BEACH!!! zzz today was such a nice sunny day....can some ask mi out to e beach? any1? please? haix...i dout any1 would so random as to jus suddenly go to a beach wif out planning =/ haix...anws....whr r u? i hardly c eu around these days...either i dun c u or ur busy haix...ah well wad to......y don u rply to my msgs? mus be cos i'm too irritating or u couldn't be bothered to reply to a loser like mi....okay, i doubt so...the logical explaination would be ur fone has no money or battery...i kinda doubt e 2nd 1 as i msged quite awhile ago....ah well...i shldn't put too much thought into...who cares which1 it is =)

Sleep Cures Emoness =)

I feel btr...Not so emo liao...=)...Shldn't think so much....Who gives a damn whether or not ur crush likes you...okay fine i do but i shldn't =)...I don't care if my crush goes out n haves fun wif some lame guy who hate mi but feels uncomfortable when i ask her out =) nt my prob...yawn...

I Hate Everything

Y the hell does life have to be so unfair? Y did i have to be so pathetic? F*** it... Y in the world do i like her anw?...Wth is wrong wif mi? I hate myself. I hate everything. Esp tat guy. I F***ing hate him. Blind idiot...doesn't c wat he has...Her heart....Wadever...Doesn't make a diff to me...I'll nvr have it anw. Whether he sees it or not...She'll nvr like someone as pathetic as mi....Y was i so damned stupid to think thr was even a small little chance?....F***.....

Mus be rly fun for u to make mi feel jealous n emo....Is it rly worth it?...All the times when sat thr staring at my msn wishin u were online...Looking at my tagbox wondeing if u'll say something nice...Holding my fone hoping that u would msg mi...Wad am i doin....I'm such a loser...

I Miss U

Zzz. I suck...I'm feeling rly pathetic nw....Pls avoid mi cos may become vry tempremental n write a vry negative post...so pls read wif discretion... Haix...I'm guessing u dun rly wanna go out wif mi. Tat's y eu keep comin up wif excuses. Can u jus tell mi so n not beat around e bush?.....K i'm jus assuming tat...I noe it's not true...I hope...But i jus can't help but feel so....Haix...Or maybe u dun rly want to but u being sch a nice person feels obliged to go out wif mi once but don't rly look 4ward to it...Tat's a possibility...But i shldn't assume so.....But still....Haix...Knowing you, u'll tag putting something u think is encouraging but i'll still stay emo cos it's not wat i rly wanna hear...either tat or u'll not tag at all cos ur too busy goin out wif other friends to come online but i'll still feel rly sad tat u didn't tag despite know thr was a valid reaso. c i'm so smart -.- it's just a guess. dun say i putting words in ur mouth. or maybe u jus won tag at all cos u dun noe wad to say. shld tat come true, i'll feel even more emo seeing tat u didn't tag -.-...it's nice to know my immediate future is so bleak seeing tat all three options leaves mi feeling rly sadd =_=... lol. hopefully thr's 4th option whr by i get happy =)...i hope....-.-


BTW PPL I'M GONNA PUT MY BLOG AS PRIVATE SO IF U WANNA READ, PLS TAG/TELL ME IN SOME WAY. THIS IS DONE SO TAT I NOE WHO READING EVEN THO NO ONE TAGS THANK YOU

My Mind's In A Daze

Haix...so many things have happened these few days. Some gd, some nt so gd...Tues was damn suay. So many bad things happen to mi -.-. eg. spilled something in my bag n dirty everything inside, wan to send someone home get off on wrong stop. -.- when go back cannot find e person n feel like an idiot. haix.... Wed, silvia went back to myanmar T.T will miss u gurl. I went wif a few others to go see her off. waah evelyn, melissa n faunia came super late. almost didn't make it. Haix. I starting to regret goin to jc...won be able to c someone....well some day can bah if jc ends early...haix....y is it everytime i ask u out ur busy? mus be a coincedence...still..do u even want to go out wif mi in e 1st place?...i bet if tat guy asked u ou on valentines day u would have jumped on e opportunity rite. hmm...when i mention "tat guy" i suddenl think of something rly funny concerning silvia. lolz. anw back to e topic. u will rite? haix...any1 ever wish u were born as someone else? some btr then the pathetic person u are nw? i do....always....y can't i have wat tat guy has? y can't i be more charming instead of being such a loser?....y can't i be sweeter instead of being so blur...okay i can think of a really corny way to anws tat -.-...haix this isn't helpin...i mus think positive thoughts....i mus think positive thoughts...i mus think positive thoughts....
I'm screwed!! T.T

I Feel So Empty

I feel less emo nw...Bt i dun feel happy either...I jus feel empty...Haix~ I jus dun noe wad to do...Bout so so many things...Can u tell mi wad to do?

Feel The Wind In Your Hair And The Rain On Your Skin

Random fact bout mi: I really enjoy windy or rainy days. Sometimes, i wake up in the middle of the nite to go stand at the balcony window. It's usually quite windy at nite...Haix...I dn noe if i shld keep waiting...I dun noe wad to do if i continue....Sigh~

Sad And Lonely~

I just realised y i felt so empty...No one really congradulated mi on hw i did...my parents did...but i can tell they wanted mi to do btr...i worked really hard n i'm happy wif myself...but they're not...even tho they dun say it...i feel really happy bout myself...i think i did really well...everyone else jus thinks i did "okay"...and then something else happened to add to my troubles...i can't even cheer someone up...wat's the point? y shld i keep trying to go after her when i can't make her happy of make a diff to her?..

Joy And Sorrow

Results:

English: A2

Humanities: B3

E Maths: A1

A Maths: B3

Chem: B3

Phy: B3

L1R5: 15

YAY!!!!

Honestly, i'm damn happy wif my results =D. Yet..i dun feel as happy as i had imagined i would be...something's missing...i dun noe...

My Life's Path Depends On A Piece Of Paper

I btr blog b4 i gt my results cos if they suck i'll be to emo to blog =X. Anws i had pri sch gathering on sat. It was fun. So nice to meet all my old sch mates. Every1 looks so differenttt. But i still can recognise most of em. Onli 4gt e names =X

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I Hate Myself

Wad does he have tat i don...wat has he don tat i can't....Oh wait. Stupid qn. I don have ANYTHING. N thx for rubbing it in...You noe when u told mi tat last nite? U noe wad i did? Most guys would go hit somethign or go shout at someone etc etc. N guess wad? As u said. I'm like a gurl. I took my bolster hugged it n cried. Yay i noe. I'm a total loser. No wonder u won ever like mi...Wadever...

I hate life...y did i have to be such a loser...pls dun apologise again...thx for trying to make me feel btr tho it doesn't help.....doesn't make a diff to me who he is or whether he likes u or not...the fact is that u'll nvr have feelings for mi no matter wad i will do or say...so just forget it...dun bother about me...

Bored, Lethargic, Lonely And Irritated

I went off for lunch wif louis at west mall cos i gt NOTHING to do at home...haix...Anws went thr, we decided to eat at kou fu. When reach the top, we both suddenly feel lyk eating sub way instead -.-....Anws after that we went by e sch to go try to confirm e O-lvl release date. Jus opposite e sch, i bumped into this aboslute b-....I'm not supposed to use vulgarities but i'm sure u get my point -.-... that ***** see mi n she immediatly start laughing at my hair...*****.....Anw it think it's one of those kinds of laughs whr the thing isn't funny but u jus laugh to irritate or piss of e person -.-....Argg...Anws i saw Mdm Lock in e MRT station gosh...so nice to c her after so long...She such a good teacher...Nvr scolds mi when i slp or dun pass up hw =P lol. But she seriously is lah.

Sleepy, Moody n Lonely~

I'd btr blog b4 i fall asleep due to exhaustion...I had an all nighter at church ytd...Stared at 8.30 whr we had thanks giving service...Then did some lame stuff...the thing ended at 3 after the worship n prayer...Then since thr were no buses, i camped out in church...did some lame stuff...then went off to to the wall sat on it n jus did nothing...i wouldn't call it emoing...i wasn't really sad...well, maybe a bit cos of e loneliness...then i just sat thr n thought bout stuff...i remembered my sec 3 camp...2nd nite, i was doing the same thing. sitting dorms jus doing nothing...i dun rmb y i was doin tat or wat i thought about...but wat i do rmb was this girl who came by to accompany me...who sat wif me n talked to me...i don rmb wat we talked about...onli tat she was thr...maybe it was cos she was lonely too...maybe it was cos she was a nice person..maybe it was cos she pitied the poor lil guy tat was just sitting thr...i don noe...but i was a nice gesture...a lil act of kindness tat i still rmb till now........okay tat was kinda random...mus be the lack of sleep yawn....(falls asleep on keyboard)...